I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
