is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
