He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
