I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
