you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize