just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
