you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
