You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
