I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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