wanna go halves on a baby?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
