A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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