I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
