I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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