You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize