I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
