Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
