there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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