think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
