There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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