We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
