you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
