I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
