my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
