he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
