Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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