i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize