3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
