At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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