I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
