Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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