As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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