its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
