so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
