What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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