He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
