his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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