not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
