i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
