dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
