Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
