Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize