is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
