Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
