Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
