You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
