so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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