I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
