I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
