is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
