did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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