You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
