i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
