i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
