my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
