An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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