who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
