i just wanna soil my oats bro
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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