im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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