so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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