Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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