He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
