im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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