Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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