Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
