i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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