Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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