In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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