Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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