Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
