defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He has the fingertips of a God
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