Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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