You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
