im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
