My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
