I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
