I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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