Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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