after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
