quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There r osticjed everywhere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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