just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
